Various problems at home, work, until the delinquency of children often get you out of control and angry. In fact, not infrequently, the children become the target of your anger, either through attitudes or harsh words coming out of your mouth. Be careful when you are frequently carried away like this.
"Words can be a source of inspiration, but also can hurt feelings," said Chick Moorman, author of Parent Talk and Spirit Whisperers.
Although your child raises many problems, as a parent you should not cast a painful words for a child. The effects of harsh speech is often more harmful than you think. Examples like this:
"If rogue, I'll leave you here." You threaten and frighten the children with the hope that they are obedient to your commands. You need to know, the biggest fear of small children were lost alone and feeling unsafe. Therefore, your actions leave him alone would cause trauma for him.
"Words can be a source of inspiration, but also can hurt feelings," said Chick Moorman, author of Parent Talk and Spirit Whisperers.
Although your child raises many problems, as a parent you should not cast a painful words for a child. The effects of harsh speech is often more harmful than you think. Examples like this:
"If rogue, I'll leave you here." You threaten and frighten the children with the hope that they are obedient to your commands. You need to know, the biggest fear of small children were lost alone and feeling unsafe. Therefore, your actions leave him alone would cause trauma for him.
Rather than threaten and scare the children, better say your well wishes. For example when a child whining for a toy, just tell him, "Arka, if you continue to whine like that, we're going home now. But if you're not bad, we will remain on this and choose the grocery store together."
Another alternative is to take a break. Child's misbehavior and your anger may be a sign that you or your child needs a rest.
"You should be ashamed." Many parents who thought that by revealing this, the child will be embarrassed and will change its behavior according to what they want. However, small children can not understand the shame that occur due to mistakes made by him. Therefore, it is not always immediately successful. If too often say this, then they will just think that everything he does is always wrong.
"If you never existed." This sentence had a meaning: "Father and mother never wanted you." Therefore, this sentence should not uttered by the parents. This sentence will be very painful, both for the child and others who hear it. Regardless of the child's mischief has been done, he will attend because you and your husband. So, behave as a responsible parent to care for and educate children well, instead of blaming him for the world was born.
"You are making my mother divorced." No child will be the cause of his parents divorced. When sentence was pronounced, then indirectly you make the children bear the emotional burden of a lifetime. Even when you explain the cautious about the divorce, the children will feel very responsible for your decision to divorce. Children will assume that if he behave better, then you will not get divorced. Although unspoken by children, these problems often become a serious problem.
"Why do not you like another brother?" By saying this, then it implies that you are comparing children with another brother that the child is not smart enough, good enough, or quickly learned than his brother. This comparison will also increase competition increases sibling, that would damage the brotherly relations and develop detachment. Accept each child in your family because they have their own unique and distinctive. Help children to see their privilege by focusing on each individual without the use of comparison.
"Let me finish Mother." Perhaps, mean heart wanted to help him resolve a difficult homework done. However, if too often to do this, then you have taken over the work of children who should be doing themselves. This is actually even going to weaken it. Take over the work of children may be able to save you time in the present, but you leave the baggage in the future because the child was not used so independent.
"My mother said so, just follow." This sentence sounds like a tough order for the child. However, the deepest meaning of this sentence is, "I am an adult, and your children", or "I'm smart, and you're stupid", or "I am in power, and you do not", or "I have a set, and you that have to do. " This assertion will create a wide gulf between you and the children.
Talk like this style cause resentment in children, possibly even hatred and scramble competition for power in the house. Try to use better language to express their disapproval of the child so much respect and understand what you feel.
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